VIEWS FROM A BROAD

Nude Beach Blow Job Fight Leads to Wife’s Death! A SEA DONT!!!

So ya go to a nude beach...Get totally Friggin drunk and your wife catches ya blowing some dude ...and she ends up on a sand bar... and dead a  few days later.. could this happen?

When your wife catches you blowing a dude on a boat off a Florida nude beach, the correct response is to immediately apologize, and, once the situation has cooled, have a frank, open conversation about sexuality. Not recommended: throwing her off of the back of your jet ski and leaving her for dead.

The confrontation between Michael Doster, 49, and his spouse of two years resulted in Doster’s arrest for domestic battery. He was released from a Florida jail today after posting $5000 bond on the misdemeanor count.

As detailed in a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report, Doster and his wife Pamela, 45, were on a Sea-Doo jet ski near the Passage Key sandbar at the mouth of Tampa Bay when they began quarreling. Pamela, a deputy noted, brought up the fact that she “saw the defendant and another unknown male involved in a sex act together.”

While not specifying when or where this alleged sex act occurred, the cop noted that Pamela reported it involved “giving each other a blow job.”

Doster, who was driving the Sea-Doo, allegedly yanked his wife off the jet ski several times, according to the report. “During the last time she was pulled off she hit her head against the side of the jet ski” and refused to get back on the watercraft. Instead, she repaired to the sandbar “and refused to answer his call outs.

Michael called 911 when he returned to shore, and Pamela was found bruised and battered on the sandbar wearing only a life vest. After several days in the hospital, she died. Local law enforcement named Michael as a suspect in the investigation into her death. Manatee County Sheriff's Office spokesman Randy Warren told NBC:

"This takes our case to a different level. We need to know exactly what happened. We can say that Michael Doster is a suspect."

Law enforcement officials are now searching for the recipient of Doster's blowie, as "he may be able to give us some good information as to exactly what occurred."

SOURCE

Man Shoots Off His Own Penis at a gas Station!

Ya gotta love these Gun toting idiots!  Even the staunchest NRA defender wouldn't argue that a man has the right to shoot himself in the penis..or would they? 

A Macon, Ga. man accidentally shot himself in the penis on Thursday, according to WMAZ Channel 13.

The man was trying to holster his .45 caliber gun while parked in a gas station parking lot when it accidentally discharged.

He then when to a friend's house, where he discovered he "shot himself in the penis and that the bullet exited out of his buttocks," according to WMAZ.

Toothless Burglar Caught. Left false teeth in garage he stole from

A man in England is in jail after he broke into a home, drank some beer and ate some Popsicles...and left his False teeth behind

Police say 38-year-old Justin Stansfield broke into a garage, enjoyed a case of beer and some ice pops and then fled. And he would have gotten away with it too – if he hadn't left his false teeth behind. The owner of the home returned to find that his garage had been broken into and found the chompers. He called police, who then went directly to Stansfield – someone they were already familiar with after several previous arrests.

Stansfield was arrested and is now looking at 16 months behind bars. (NY Daily News)

Brothers blow up house while celebrating lottery win with drugs

Two brothers celebrated a winning $75,000 lottery ticket with a marijuana and meth binge that blew up their house.

In preparation for the drug orgy the two idiots emptied several large cans of butane fuel.The explosion happened after one of the brothers went to the kitchen to refuel the butane torches they planned to use to

"The butane vapor reached the pilot light in the furnace, and as you might expect, ka-boom,"

One brother was was taken to the hospital and the other was taken to jail. The girlfriend loaded him into the car, dropped him off at the Emergency Room, and zoomed away with the kids! Smart girl. However, survival plus children equals No Darwin Award.

Teen Had Loaded Revolver In Her Vagina

Cops say a Tennessee teen who got arrested for driving with a suspended license on Monday had a surprise in store for police.

A fuckin LOADED GUN shoved in her Vagina!

When a female corrections officer at Kingsport jail performed a search on 19-year-old Dallas Archer, she allegedly discovered an "unknown object" lodged in the young woman's crotch. She alerted another female officer, who accompanied her during a further examination, according to documents obtained by the Smoking Gun.

That woman, Christie Harris, also had two bags of what turned out to be methamphetamine hidden in baggies in her butt, according to police.

A subsequent check revealed that the five-shot mini-revolver--which is four inches in length--had been “stolen from an auto burglary in 2013.” The handgun, which police valued at $250, is owned by John Souther, a 70-year-old retired car salesman.