VIEWS FROM A BROAD

Colorado man shoots at cops ... with gun hidden in his Ass! A crack shot?

A Colorado man did his best to prove he was a crack shot – by trying to gun down the cops who'd just handcuffed him...with a pistol he'd hidden between his butt cheeks!

Isaac Vigil, who was in custody on drug charges, had been collared and cuffed while smoking meth in a McDonald's parking lot. It took several officers to subdue the "highly agitated" 32-year-old, who kept threatening to shoot them and kill himself. While the deputies say they searched Vigil three times, finding two bags of meth in his rear end, he still managed to pull an escape plan – and a .25 caliber weapon out of his butt.

Vigil managed to get off two shots, neither of which connected, before he was shot once by police. He was not badly hurt, and was charged with numerous felonies, including assault, menacing and drug and weapon possession. (WUSA

 

Teen Had Loaded Revolver In Her Vagina

Cops say a Tennessee teen who got arrested for driving with a suspended license on Monday had a surprise in store for police.

A fuckin LOADED GUN shoved in her Vagina!

When a female corrections officer at Kingsport jail performed a search on 19-year-old Dallas Archer, she allegedly discovered an "unknown object" lodged in the young woman's crotch. She alerted another female officer, who accompanied her during a further examination, according to documents obtained by the Smoking Gun.

That woman, Christie Harris, also had two bags of what turned out to be methamphetamine hidden in baggies in her butt, according to police.

A subsequent check revealed that the five-shot mini-revolver--which is four inches in length--had been “stolen from an auto burglary in 2013.” The handgun, which police valued at $250, is owned by John Souther, a 70-year-old retired car salesman.

PIMP sues NIKE for lack of warning label after beating victim with Jordans

Ya just can't make this shit up!

A pimp in Portland, Oregon convicted of assaulting a man was sentenced to 100 years in prison and says Nike is partly to blame.

Sirgiogiro Clardy is suing Nike because the shoe maker never provided an adequate warning about the potential for injuries caused by using them as deadly weapons. He was wearing Air Jordans when he kicked and stomped on the face of a man he claims owed him money.

Clardy claims that Nike should be liable for the extent of his victim's injuries and his resulting 100-year prison sentence. He's seeking $100-million and also wants Nike to be required to affix labels to its shoes warning of the potential dangers of using them to stomp on people's faces. (The Oregonian)

Lesbian Accuses Ex-Girlfriend Of Decapitating Dildos. You dont vandalize a lesbians Sex toys!

This fight came to a head when the DILDOS got decapitated.

A  Florida woman ( yes FLORIDA) who had just broken up with her girlfriend called cops to report that her ex had “cut the heads off her three dildo sex toys,” according to a police report.

Bristol (left) is pictured in the above booking photo taken after her recent domestic violence collar. Watts (right) is seen in a 2008 mug shot

An upset Lakenya Bristol, 32, showed an Indian River County Sheriff’s Office deputy the decapiteated damaged dildos and pointed the finger at her former girlfriend, the lovely 37-year-old Regina Watts.

The Dildos apparently were decapitated after Bristol’s mid-November arrest for domestic violence. Bristol told an investigator that her belongings were subsequently packed up by Watts.

Due to the “lack of further investigative leads,” the case of the severed dildos has been closed by investigators.

Smoking gun

 

Man Pawns Wedding Ring To Pay Prostitute

A South Carolina man has to answer to someone less forgiving than the police after allegedly pawning his wedding ring for $20 so he could pay for a prostitute.

 

 

 

Marvin Holmes, 33, picked up a prostitute and told her he didn’t have any money but drove her to the pawnshop after she named her price of $20.

 

An officer recognized the woman from previous arrests and pulled over Holmes in an area known for prostitution and drugs. Holmes confessed to police that he was having

problems with his wife. He was charged with solicitation of prostitution and driving under suspension. (UPI)