Selena Gomez - 22 (used to have underage lesbian fooling around sex with Justin Bieber. She starred on the Disney Channel's "Wizards of Waverly Place" and sings the pop version of the song "Cruella de Vil". UPDATE: she still has occasionla LEsbian sex with the NOW Legal Bieber)
Madison Pettis - 16 (The little girl from the Disney Channel's "Cory in the House"
Franka Potente - 40 (German actress. She's the chick Matt Damon schtupps in "The Bourne Identity" and "The Bourne Supremacy".)
Daniel Jones - 40 (Savage Garden)
David Spade - 50 (Minimal talent, schtupps hot chicks. and keeps getting work..HOW IS THAT? He must have a huge dick..)
John Leguizamo - 50 (Half-Puerto Rican funnyman.and awesome actor- underated.)
Emily Saliers - 51 (Indigo Girls)
Rob Estes, Actor, turns 51Willem Dafoe - 59 (The Green Goblin in "Spider-Man" and dope-smoking Sergeant Elias in "Platoon".)
Comedic Genius Albert Brooks - 67 writer/actor/producer..whose real name is Albert Einstien.. Swear!
Don Henley - 67 (The Eagles)
Danny Glover - 68
Bobby Sherman, Actor, singer, turns 71
Kay Bailey Hutchison, uptight U.S. senator, R-Texas who truly needs a dildo.. turns 71
George Clinton - 73 (Parliament Funkadelic)
Alex Trebek - 74 (Smug hos os Jeopardy)
Terence Stamp - 75 (was Siegfried in the"Get Smart" movie. He was also General Zod in "Superman 2" and Superman's biological father, Jor-El, on "Smallville" and in PRISCILLA QUEEN OF THE DESERT as the over the hill drag queen.)
Louise Fletcher, Actress ("One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"), turns 80
Oscar de la Renta, Fashion designer, turns 82
Orson Bean, Actor, turns 86
BOB DOLE - 91 (Aroused viagra spokesman. He gets to Schtupp luscious Liddy Dole ANYTIME HE WANTS TO witha lifetime supply of lil blue pills)
Amy Vanderbilt 7/22/1908 - 12/27/1974 American journalist and authority on etiquette
1376 - The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats out of town is said to have occurred on this date.
1587 - A second English colony was established on Roanoke Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under mysterious circumstances.
1893 - Katharine Lee Bates, a professor at Wellesley College, wrote the original version of her poem "America The Beautiful". She was inspired by the view from Pike's Peak in Colorado.
1934 - Bank robber John Dillinger was shot to death by federal agents outside Chicago's Biograph Theater. Legend has it that Dillinger was packing 17 inches . . . FLACCID.
1991 - Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested in Milwaukee. Police found 11 skulls and three headless torsos sealed in a vat plus other body parts in his apartment.
1991 - Desiree Washington, a Miss Black America contestant, said she'd been raped by Mike Tyson in an Indianapolis hotel room. Tyson was convicted, and
served three years in prison.
1991 - Rob Lowe who's been known to go by the rule that "if there's grass on the field, play ball" was finally tamed by (married) Sheryl Berkoff. Today's their 20th Anniversary.
1994 - O.J. Simpson pleaded "absolutely 100% not guilty" to double murder charges.
1995 - Susan Smith was convicted in Union, South Carolina, of first-degree murder for drowning her two sons. She was later sentenced to life in prison. (She drove them into a lake and tried to cover it up by saying her car and her kids were stolen by a BLACK MAN.)
2003 - SADDAM HUSSEIN'S sons QUSAY and International Playboy UDAY were killed in a massive, SIX-HOUR U.S. military raid on a home in Iraq.
2008 - ESTELLE GETTY died three days short of her 85th birthday. She played Bea Arthur's mom on the show, but she was actually the youngest of all the "Golden Girls" stars, and the first to die.
