Ryan Reynolds - 37 ("Van Wilder" clown ass. He's also in "Blade: Trinity", "The Amityville Horror" and that silly restaurant movie, "Waiting".oh and the Green lantern the Proposal. he has abs!)
Meghan McCain - 29 (John McCain's daughter.)
Cat Deeley - 37 (Blonde minx who hosts "So You Think You Can Dance?")
Jasmin St. Claire - 41 (Pornographic prostitute most infamous for "The World's Biggest Gang Bang 2", in which she had sex with 350 GUYS IN ONE DAY to set a NEW GANG BANG RECORD.) -The current record is 646 DIRTY MEN .set by the no-longer-taut well worn sugar walls of Polish porno-skank Klaudia Figura.)
Doug Flutie - 51 (Retired quarterback who now analyzes college football.)
ALFRED MATTHEW "WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC - 54 (Parody song star. Just when you thought he was OVER, he came ROARING back with His 13th studio album, "Alpocalypse",.)
Nancy Grace - 54 (TV lawyer becoming of a "Dancing with the Stars" superstar with nip slips and gaseous emissions)
Sam Raimi - 54 (LEGENDARY director of all of the "Evil Dead" AND "Spider-Man" movies.)Dwight Yoakam - 57 (Very cool country star.)
Ang Lee - 59 (Director of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" . . . "The Hulk" and "Brokeback Mountain".)
Pelé - 73 (One of the greatest soccer players of all time. a ghetto kid whose first soccer ball was a grapefruit.)
Chi-Chi Rodriguez - 77 (The greatest en fuego Puerto Rican "sword-dancing" golfer of all time. a ghetto kid whose first golf clubs were guava tree limbs.)
--JOHNNY CARSON - Would have been 88 - (1925 - 200 5) (The Undisputed King. Amazing host of the "Tonight Show" from 1962 to 1992.)
--Sarah Bernhardt - (1844 - 1923) (Psycho French actress. After her prostitute mother told her she'd die at an early age, she took a coffin with her everywhere she went. She served food on it, slept in it, and had sex in it. She finally did die . . . at 79.)
--John Heisman - (1869 - 1936) (Legendary college football coach who invented the handoff, the Flea Flicker AND the center snap. Before him, the center would ROLL the ball to the quarterback. The Heisman Trophy is named after him, ya know.)
Michael Crichton - Would have been 70 - (1942 - 2008) (Freakishly tall author of "Jurassic Park" and creator of "ER". He was Six-Foot Nine.)
1910 - Blanche Scott became the FIRST WOMAN TO FLY AN AIRPLANE by herself. She flew over a park in Fort Wayne, Indiana . . . 12 feet off the ground.
1941 - Disney's classic "Dumbo" was released. It cost $812,000 to make.
1960 - The classic western "The Magnificent Seven" was released . . . starring the extremely well-endowed YUL BRENNER as the leader of a group of gunfighters hired to defend a village full of oppressed Mexicans.
1976 - Presidential candidate JIMMY CARTER responded to a public outcry over comments he made in an interview with "Playboy" magazine.(--On his spiritual beliefs, Jimmy Carter said, quote, "Christ said, 'I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust has in his heart already committed adultery.' I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times."-But he still scthupps Rosalynn real good.)
1976 - "If You Leave Me Now" by CHICAGO hit #1 on the pop singles chart.
1978 - CBS RECORDS jacked up the price of new albums to $8.98.
1991 - Despite ANITA HILL'S charges of sexual harassment, CLARENCE THOMAS was sworn in as the nation's 106th Supreme Court Justice.
1992 - QUENTIN TARANTINO'S "Reservoir Dogs" was released in the U.S.
1995 - A jury in Houston convicted YOLANDA SALDIVAR of murder in the March 31st, 1995, shooting death of SELENA.
1997 - BARBARA MANDRELL gave her final musical performance at the Grand Ole Opry House. She quit music to concentrate on acting, and said, quote, "I'm continuing down the show business road, I'm just changing lanes."
1998 - "Pleasantville" was released, starring TOBEY MAGUIRE and REESE WITHERSPOON.
2004 - ASHLEE SIMPSON was got caught faking it on "Saturday Night Live". Within days she blamed it on the dreaded ACID REFLUX. ( talentless waste)
