VIEWS FROM A BROAD

Celebrity Birthdays and on this Day in History May 31, 2013: Colin Farrell - Brooke Shields - Clint Eastwood

A few then and now Pics...Today!

David Hernandez - 30  (The male stripper who was one of the three Davids who made the Final 12 in Season Seven of "American Idol".  He was also the first of the Final 12 to get voted off. he wanders around my LA FITNESS gym talking on his cell phone now and basks in the sea of obscurity.)

Colin Farrell - 37  ("Master Swordsman" and total hunk. I'd hit it!)

Phil Keoghan - 46  (The host of "The Amazing Race".)

Brooke Shields - 48  ("Suddenly Susan" AND "The Blue Lagoon".  remember when nothing came between her and her Calvin? Dating myself huh?.)

Darryl McDaniels - 49  (D.M.C. of Run-D.M.C.) 

COREY HART- 51  (Remember "Sunglasses At Night"? REMEMBER THE '80S)

Lea Thompson - 52  ("Caroline in the City" and Michael J. Fox's "Back to the Future" MILF.When Michael went into the past, he had a chance to schtupp HIS OWN MOM.  I wonder what would have happened if he did. 

Chris Elliott - 53  (Superstar of "Everybody Loves Raymond", "Late Nig ht with David Letterman" AND "Cabin Boy".  His short-lived TV series, "Get A Life", was EXCELLENT.  If only because several episodes ended with him DYING.)

Susie Essman - 58  (plays Susie, Jeff's abrasive, cursing wife on "Curb Your Enthusiasm".)

Tom Berenger - 64  ("Platoon", "Major League" 1 AND 2. Aging Sucks)

Joe Namath - 70  (Hall-of-Fame quarterback and Hall-of-Fame playboy.)

Peter Yarrow - 75  (The Peter in Peter, Paul and Mary.)

Clint Eastwood - 82. One helluva a gorgeous man

Johnny PayCheck - Would have been 75 - (1938 - 2003)  (Country LEGEND who did "Take This Job and Shove It".  He also did two years in PRISON for shooting a man at a bar in 1985.)

Prince Rainier of Monaco - Would have been 90 - (1923 - 2005)  (Made Grace Kelly the first American Princess when they married in 1956.  Together they made Princess Caroline, Prince Albert and Princess Stephanie.)

Don Ameche - (1908 - 1993)  (Great actor in "Cocoon" AND "Trading Places".)

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale - (1898 - 1993)  (Author of one of the best "self-help books" of all-time, "The Power of Positive Thinking". i actually met him once and he was the most Negative person I ever met.)

Walt Whitman - (1819 - 1892)  (Classic American poet.  "Leaves of Grass" ring a bell?  "O Captain!  My Captain!"?  No?  Read them and look for the gay subtext.  Just because you slacked in high school doesn't mean you can't read stuff now.)

1859 - In London, Big Ben went into operation. The name Big Ben initially referred to the bell inside the tower but later came to the refer to the tower.

1879 - New York's Madison Square Garden opened.

1884 - Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patented "flaked cereal."

1955 - The U.S. Supreme Court ordered that all states must end racial segregation "with all deliberate speed."

1961 - South Africa became an independent republic.

1962 - Adolf Eichmann was hanged in Israel. Eichmann was a Gestapo official and was executed for his actions in the Nazi Holocaust.

1970 - An earthquake in Peru killed tens of thousands of people.

1974 - Israel and Syria signed an agreement on the Golan Heights.

1977 - The trans-Alaska oil pipeline was finished after 3 years of construction.

1979 - Zimbabwe proclaimed its independence.

1990The sitcom "Seinfeld" premiered on NBC.

1994 - The U.S. announced it was no longer aiming long-range nuclear missiles at targets in the former Soviet Union.

1995 - Bob Dole singled out Time Warner for "the marketing of evil" in movies and music. Dole later admitted that he had not seen or heard much of what he had been criticizing.

2003 - In North Carolina, Eric Robert Rudolph was captured. He had been on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list for five years for several bombings including the 1996 Olympic bombing

2005 Former FBI official W. Mark Felt stepped forward as "Deep Throat," the secret Washington Post source that helped bring down President Richard M. Nixon during the Watergate scandal

2009 Dr. George Tiller, a provider of late-term abortions, was shot and killed in a Wichita, Kan., church. (Gunman Scott Roeder was later convicted and sentenced to life in prison.)

Celebrity Birthdays and on this Day in History May 30, 2013: Cee Lo Green- Mel Blanc- Wynonna Judd

Cee-Lo GREEN - 39 (TSigner and  judge on the singing competition show "The Voice". He'll spend the day having someone feed him birthday cake . . . because his arms are too short to reach his mouth.)

Manny Ramirez - 41  (L.A. Dodgers superstar who may be certifiably insane.)

Idina Menzel 42 Actress ("Rent," "Wicked"),

WYNONNA JUDD - 49  (The chubbiest Judd.  Naomi's chubby daughter.  Ashley's chubby sister. )

Ralph Carter - 52  (Michael Evans on "Good Times".)

Ted McGinley - 55  (Actor responsible fort he downfall of every series he's ever joined.  Think about it.  "Happy Days", "The Love Boat", "Dynasty" and "Married With Children" all "jumped the shark" after he joined the cast. He also got "Hope & Faith" cancelled.  Ted   McGinley is TV POISON, disguised in a well-chiseled package.)

Marie Fredriksson - 55  (Roxette.  She's got "The Look".)  (Their biggest  hitsinclude . . . "Listen to Your Heart", "Dangerous", "It Must Have Been Love", "Joyride", "The Look" and "Fading Like a Flower (Every Time You Leave)".)

Jake "The Snake" Roberts - 58  (Crack-smoking WWF superstar of the '80s!!!)

Colm Meaney - 60  (Irish Chief Miles O'Brien on "Star Trek:  TNG" and "Star Trek:  DS9". 

GALE SAYERS - 70  (Chicago Bears legend.  Greatest achievement:  Being portrayed by BILLY DEE WILLIAMS in "Brian's  Song"!!!)

Keir Dullea - 75  ("Dave" in "2001:  A Space Odyssey".)

THE GREAT MEL BLANC - (1908 - 1989)  (The Voice of Warner Brothers:  His amazing voices included Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Tweety and Sylvester, Yosemite Sam , Foghorn Leghorn, and Pepe Le Pew . . . and even Barney Rubble on "The Flintstones".)

Christine Jorgensen - (1926 - 1989)  (She was George Jorgensen before undergoing the FIRST-EVER SEX CHANGE OPERATION in 1952.)

 Irving Thalberg 5/30/1899 - 9/14/1936 American movie executive

Benny Goodman 5/30/1909 - 6/13/1986 American clarinetist and orchestra leader.

1431 Joan of Arc, condemned as a heretic, was burned at the stake in Rouen, France. sacre bleu!

1966  Dolly Parton and Carl Dean were married. Still married!

1967 - Daredevil Evel Knievel jumped 16 automobiles in a row in a motorcycle stunt at Ascot Speedway in Gardena, CA.

1966  In San Francisco, CA, Jefferson Airplane performed at a benefit for the Haight-Ashbury Legal Organization. Before grace Slikc went bat shit crazy.

1968  The Beatles began recording the "White Album." Musical genius.

1987  In Liverpool, England, Adam Horovitz (Beastie Boys) was arrested for allegedly assaulting a female fan during a riot at a Beastie Boys show.

1989  Prince released the single "Batdance." Probably the worse song he ever was associated with

1989  Bobby Brown released "On Our Own." ( which he happens to be now)

1990  Midnight Oil closed down 6th Avenue in New York City as they played a protest concert in front of Exxon's offices. The protest was in reaction to the Exxon Valdez disaster.

1996 Britain's Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson were granted an uncontested decree ending their 10-year marriage.then she tried to sell off the family in an undercover Sting operation and got caught. FYI: She didn't get invitred to the wedding.

1997  Neil Young canceled his European tour because he had cut his finger while slicing a ham sandwich.

1999  In London, a bomb threat at a Kenny Rogers concert being held at Royal Albert Hall caused the evacuation of more than 3,000. No bomb was found and no injuries were reported. Someone really didn't like Islands in the stream.

1999  In New Jersey, Lenny Kravitz walked off stage after 40 minutes and collapsed from heat exhaustion. He had been performing in a fur coat.Where was PETA?

1999  Tim McGraw made an unannounced appearance to open a concert for his wife, Faith Hill.

2005  Vice President Dick Cheney predicted the Iraq war would end before the Bush administration left office, saying "I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency," on CNN's "Larry King Live. And we know how that Adminstiration ended!..

2006 A jury in Rockville, Md., convicted John Allen Muhammad of six of the Washington-area sniper killings.

Neil Patrick Harris Will Host the Emmy Awards in September

Neil Patrick Harris should host EVERY awards show!

Neil Patrick Harris is becoming a professional awards-show host.

In addition to his repeat stint hosting Broadway's Tony Awards on June 9, CBS has tapped him for a second time as host of the Emmy Awards on Sept. 26.

Harris, who stars in the network's comedy How I Met Your Mother, ending its run next May, hosted the Emmys in 2009, the last time CBS aired the awards, which are shared by the four major networks on a rotating basis. Each typically picks a star who appears elsewhere on their network: Jimmy Kimmel hosted last year, when the awards aired on ABC; Fox chose Jane Lynch (Glee) in 2011 and NBC picked Jimmy Fallon in 2010.

MORE FROM USA TODAY.

(Posted by Schmooze Correspondent Mary Wallace)

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The TWUNT that is Michelle Bachman realizes she is gonna lose and will retire from Congress

and FOX NEWS will hire her as a highly paid insane talking head BITCH . Her husband will finally open that  Gay Bar he's alwayS wanted

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) announced early Wednesday that she will not seek a fifth term in office.

The decision to bow out of the 2014 race was announced in a YouTube video on the congresswoman's website and on her Facebook page.

Although Bachmann didn't give an exact reason for her departure, she explained that an eight-year term in the House was enough.

WHICH IS BULLSHIT...Everyone knows she barely won re-election and she was gonna lose. Fox will hire her eveil tired ass..and  that will be that.

Celebrity Birthdays and on this Day in History May 29, 2013: Annette Bening - Riley Keough - Danny Elfman - Bob Hope

Riley Keough - 24  (Elvis' absolutley gorgeous granddaughter.  She's the daughter of Lisa Marie Presley.  Unlike mom, Riley's not interested in a music career, but she's been modeling since she was 12.)

Carmelo Anthony - 29  (Denver Nuggets.)

David Burtka - 30  (Lucky bastard who gets to schtupp Neil Patrick Harris ANYTIME HE WANTS TO.  He's been on "How I Met Your Mother" a few times, as Scooter. they are parents now.) 

Daniel Tosh - 38  (Very funny stand-up comedian who's stuck on Comedy Central video clip show "Tosh-point-oh".)

Mel B. - 38  (Scary nubian Spice from the Spice Girls.  Eddie Murphytapped that ass  that and TRIED to break away clean.  He was THWARTED by his own DNA .. been two years and he still hasn't seen the daughter they pro created.)

Noel Gallagher - 46  (Oasis)

  LISA WHELCHEL - 50  mini-plump Blair on "The Facts of Life".  Currently advocates such parenting techniques as putting a dab of HOT SAUCE on the tongue of your child when he or she sasses. Dios Mio!!)

Melissa Etheridge - 52  LOVE HER! She's the Mickey rooney of lesbians .(Used to Schtupp  Lou Diamond Phillips' ex-wife ANYTIME SHE WANTED TO . . . possibly in the very naughty "scissor" position. I can't keep up with her relationships anymore.)

Adrian Paul - 54  (hunky Duncan McCloud on the "Highlander" TV series.)

Rupert Everett - 54  (Julia Roberts' gay friend in "My Best Friend's Wedding" . . . and the voice of the ambiguously gay Prince Charming in "Shrek 2" and "Shrek the Third". had a facelift and just doesn't look natural anymore.)

Annette Bening - 55 Oscar nominated actress who keeps losing out to CGI infected young actresses not half as talented as she (Gets to schtupp Warren Beatty ANYTIME SHE WANTS TO.)

LaToya Jackson - 57  .((The second-most talented Jackson.  Behind Tito.)

Mike Porcaro - 58  (TOTO BASSIST.  Remember the monster Toto jams of the '80s???  "Rosanna", "Africa", "Rosanna" AND "Hold the Line (LOVE ISN'T ALWAYS ON TIME)". 

 John Hinckley - 58  (Shot Ronald Reagan in his failed 1981 assassination attempt.  He did it to impress Jodie Foster not knowing at the time that the best way to impress Jodie Foster is to be skilled with "scissors and a U haul franchise")

Danny Elfman - 60  (Oingo Boingo star-turned- awesome movie composer.  He scored "Beetlejuice", "Batman", "Sleepy Hollow", "Mission:  Impossible", "Men In Black", "Spy Kids", "Spider-Man" and this year's "Alice in Wonderland".) 

Rebbie Jackson - 63  (Third-most talented Jackson right behind Tito and LaToya.) 

Bob Hope - (1903 - 2003)  (Even though his devotion to performing for the U.S. troops is the stuff of legends, he was actually born in ENGLAND.  His family emigrated to Cleveland, Ohio, when he was five. We loved him)

John F. Kennedy - (1917 - 1963)  (35th President.  Assassinated on November 22nd, 1963.)

1942 Bing Crosby recorded Irving Berlin's "White Christmas" in Los Angeles for Decca Records.

1959 - Ray Charles, B.B. King and Jimmy Reed performed for about 9,000 people at Atlanta's Herndon Stadium. It was one of the first outdoor rock festivals.

1963 - Del Shannon's cover of the Beatles' "From Me to You" became the first song written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney to appear on the American charts.

1971 - The Rolling Stones' single "Brown Sugar" his #1 in the U.S.

1972 - Paul McCartney released his version of the nursery rhyme, "Mary Had A Little Lamb."

1973 - Tom Bradley was elected the first black mayor of Los Angeles.

1973 - Record executive Clive Davis was fired from Columbia Records for misappropriating $100,000.

1973 - Mike Oldfield released his "Tubular Bells" LP. The title track would later become the theme for "The Exorcist."

1974 - U.S. President Nixon agreed to turn over 1,200 pages of edited Watergate transcripts.

1977 - In Baltimore, Elvis Presley left the stage in the middle of a concert and did not return. It was the first time he terminated a show in this manner.

1978 - In the U.S., postage stamps were raised from 13 cents to 15 cents.

1981 - Prince performed in Europe for the first time.

1987 - George Michael's single "I Want Your Sex" was released.

1990    Boris Yeltsin was elected president of the Russian republic by the Russian parliament.

1997 - Jeff Buckley drowned while swimming with a friend off Mud Island in Memphis.

1999 - The body of Philip "Taylor" Kramer (Iron Butterfly) was found in a valley in Malibu, CA. He had been missing since 1995.

2001 - In New York, four followers of Osama bin Laden were convicted of a global conspiracy to murder Americans. The crimes included the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in Africa that killed 224 people.

2004    A memorial to America's World War II veterans was dedicated on the National Mall in Washington, D.C.