OH MY GAWD... Earl sent this to me and I read with my Jaw dropped. its from-> CHRISTWIRE.ORG .. and it is the scariest load of Crap you could read..SADLY...there are people all over this country of ours..WHO BELIEVE this Shiz...BUT IT IS A PARODY site like the ONION.. and yes, there are Folks who think this is for real..
I Coped and paste the whole article with a link cuz..their site is overloaded and it takes forever to load it up..I'm saving you the trouble..
SO HERE IT IS:
The Golden Girls television program was never much to look at.
A foursome of Florida geriatrics getting agitated about pharmacy bills
and shoulder pads– who could ever find such a thing interesting? But
somehow these perky and absurd women wormed their ways
into America’s homes for an 8-year run in the 1980s. Maybe it was our
desire to see our grandmothers having fun that encouraged us to watch.
Maybe we wanted to believe old age wasn’t dominated by infections and
hip problems, loneliness and crushing depression before death finally
stomps us out like the acrid end of a damp cigarette.
The most unexpected segment of this show’s fanbase was America’s young men. In the 80s, these were boys too delicate for sports,
too awkward for girls, too “artistic” for labor-intensive work and too
flamboyant for peer acceptance in high school. With no real adults in
sight, these poor children became obsessed
with the poorly conceived characters on this show. Desperate for a firm
hand in their lives, they gravitated to the subversive undercurrent of
masculinity in these aged matrons.
Many studies have been done on why the gays love
The Golden Girls, but science can’t fathom the moral challenges and
social upheaval of those historic times. The 1980s was an epoch of
President Reagan’s manly wisdom and the terrifying threat of Cold War
annihilation. America had sobered up from the flashy lights of 1970s
disco. We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on
our careers. Spiritual leaders like Jerry Falwell were telling us that
Christianity was in the majority again. On the other side, there was a subculture of homosexuality creeping up on our youths.
It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans and to sneak off to public
parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities.
THE GOLDEN GIRLS GAY AGENDA
It was only to be expected that our lonely boys exposed to these conflicted times would succumb to the nagging Golden Girls agenda.
These were slender, unathletic children who were left out of the fun
militarism of the Reagan years. Skyrocketing divorce rates ruined their
faith in traditional relationships. Rock groups like Duran Duran and
Styx encouraged big hair and overactive libidos. The show lit a match
which enflamed their intense physical urges. With the utmost cruelty and immorality, The Golden Girls seized upon this opportunity to cross the hormonal wires of America’s lost generation.
The results were disastrous.
Our horny, lonely boys sought out intimate comforts with likeminded
Golden Girls addicts who didn’t mind each other’s theatrical voices and
touch-feely hand gestures. Together, these clusters of awkward teens
and twentysomethings bonded over their favorite episodes and
characters, mimicking the voices and gowns of their tv friends. When the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill.
They were so desperate for the next big trend they turned to same-sex
sexual experimentation. What woman would have them now, anyway? This
led to the worse excesses of early homosexual visibility– the most
enormous of drag queens, the dirtiest of leather daddies, the most
enticing of twinkie boys, androgyny, overeating, public sex and the
birth of “camp.”
THOSE THREE DIRTY OLD LADIES
If you walk down the street today and bump into a middle-aged
homosexual, chances are that the nasty comeback he will shout at you is
something he picked up from Dorothy Zbornak of the Golden Girls. Played by noted liberal activist and Archie Bunker-foe Bea Arthur, Dorothy
had a hard, masculine voice. She was cold and quick-tempered. She
taught our modern butt rompers to disparage everyone in their orbit.
She schooled them on insulting people’s clothing choices, body odors,
organ sizes and educations. Dorothy taught the gays to speak very fast and have the most superior attitude possible.
This formula has worked for many of your urban leather daddies and
flaming queens, who attack with the swiftness of a ninja. It often
happens that by the time I figure out what the insulting gay man has
said to me, he is long gone (probably off groping someone’s son in a
Sears lavatory). For others, and here I’m talking about your waiters
and retail salesmen, Dorothy has given them permission
to be two-faced. They smile at you through gritted teeth when you tell
them to keep their nail polished fingers off the edge of your pasta
dish or when you make them promise that they won’t peek while you’re trying on a swimsuit in the dressing room.
Beneath that smile is a sneer. These gays really hate you for your
Christianity and your gold card, your mature good looks or the fact you
lead a handsome camping group into the hushed mountains of Tennessee.
In whatever afterlife world she inhabits, Bea Arthur is surely pleased
by your outrageous outrages, you homosexual anarchists of America.
Blanche Devereaux, played by Rue McClanahan on the
show, is one of the sluttiest sluts around. She will do anything to get
anyone into her bedroom for hours of offensive copulation irregardless
of her aging orifices. Like many contemporary gays,
she also demands expensive dinners and presents from her “dates” and
takes special pride in catching the rich ones. Blanche’s promiscuity is
a common model for the personal lives of today’s homosexuals. Most gay relationships last a week.
It is no coincidence that this is the amount of time between Golden
Girl episodes when they first aired on primetime. Blanche’s appearances
on the show taught today’s 30-something homosexuals that you need a new
strange man on your arm every seven days or else your viewers/friends
will lose interest in your life’s plot. Sadly, with the Golden
Girls in weeknight syndication, the youngest gays have confused this
timetable to mean they need five new boyfriends a week. Their
sexual adventures have become both shockingly fast and befuddling to
their next-door neighbors and Twitter followers alike.
Rose Nylund, played by x-rated comedienne Betty White,
was added to the show as a sort of comic relief to the other more
serious characters. She is thoroughly dimwitted. Her clueless acting
style makes me cringe at her obvious senility. Senility is not at all
funny, but the careless creators of this awfulness used her stupidity
for a relentless barrage of immature jokes. Once again, Rose’s most
salient trait was picked up and celebrated by the gay community. Every
buff beefcake I’ve ever met has been tremendously brainless. They
can bump out the beats to any Madonna song on a club railing, but are
incapable of telling you the difference between Acapulco and an avocado.
They lack the concentration to finish reading your text message, let
alone a fantastic website article you may have forwarded to them. Most
homosexuals love to gallop around a conversation, yammering out a bunch
of big phrases to show you how smart they are. The truth is that if
they slowed down for a minute you would see that the Lady Gaga
references, truckstop handjob stories and Kevin Jennings
defenses don’t add up to an intellectual argument. They’re just random
phrases strung together by psychotropically-medicated,
carnally-motivated ridiculous libertines glazed with moisturizer.
For Florida, The Golden Girls completely ruined the reality of Miami’s masculine reputation. It was no longer a city of Scarface and Miami Vice.
The Cuban machismo and gorgeous Ferraris melted in the face of lengthy
canasta games and comfortable paisley chairs. And then the gays came
marching in to South Beach. Not even CSI Miami can win the city back
for the straights.
WILL THE GAYS LIVE “GOLDEN GIRL” STYLE IN RETIREMENT?
Today, as this crowd ages we have to wonder what comes next for the Golden Girl generation of American homosexuals. They’re turning 40 and 50 now. Their hair is thinning, their waistlines expanding, their cachet
in the cultural scene is long past. Most have settled into heavily
mortgaged condos or bungalows in gentrified neighborhoods, bitter at
their mid-level jobs with zero hope of becoming a CEO to make their
fathers proud. Many are too old at this point to be pursuing anonymous
street pickups and have settled into caustic relationships that are
only monogamous out of mutual laziness. Maybe they find weekend solace
in amateur photography or an overly primped shit-zu.
In a dozen years, the next logical step for these people is Florida.
Will we see whole sections of this state devoted to horny gay retirees
sporting the worst 1980s fashions? High pants and feathered hair and
modern architecture? Will they follow in the lusty steps of their forebears, the Golden Girls?
When all these gays are in such close proximity to each other, will we
see a huge upsurge in illicit homosexual elderly trysts? Will they vote
out Florida’s married Christian Republican leaders, like Governor
Charlie Crist? Will they embrace any and every cutting edge social
issue that will be hip in 2020? Personally, I do not look forward to
the day when we’re having moral debates about robot sex, gay jetpacks or houseplant marriage. And worst of all, will the next generation of television executives see the need for a
new Golden Girls show featuring silver daddies, poppa bears, wankers on
walkers and 50-year old twinks who sit on your lap and suck Metamucil
lollipops? America, I will be turning off my tv for good in 2019 just in case.
http://www.goldengirlscentral.com/
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