Chiaki Kuriyama - 24 (Ridiculously hot Asiatic schoolgirl assassin Gogo Yubari in "Kill Bill: Vol. 1".)
Mya - 30 (Nubian singing minx.)
Jodi Lyn O'Keefe - 30 ("Prison Break" villain Gretchen Morgan . . . but back in the day she used to play Don Johnson's daughter on "Nash Bridges".)
Dale Earnhardt, Jr. - 34 (NASCAR redneck.)
Mario Lopez - 35 (A.C. Slater from the ORIGINAL "Saved By The Bell" and an UNREPENTANT POON-HOUND.) (--Ali Landry had her marriage to Mario annulled in just over TWO WEEKS in 2004 . . . after she found out he cheated on her at his bachelor party. Then he dated his "Dancing With the Stars" partner, Karina Smirnoff . . . and may have cheated on her, too!!!)
Brett Favre - 39 (Legendary Green Bay Packers quarterback who now holds the record for all-time touchdowns. Now he's on the Jets because he and the Packers both acted like FREAKIN' BABIES and made a complete mess out of his decision to come out of retirement.)
(--To be fair, it was mostly Brett's fault. He put the Packers in a really bad situation by trying to come back . . . after he'd retired and allowed them to move on and put their plans for the future in place.)
(--He should have just stayed home and sat on his bags of money. What's he got to prove . . . that theJets can suck just as badly with one of the greatest quarterbacks in NFL history as they can without one???)
Tiffany Mynx - 37 (Pornographic prostitute who has starred in 403 fine films including . . . "Nymphomercials", "Quantum Deep" AND "Single White Shemale".)
Jodi Benson - 47 (The voice of Ariel in "The Little Mermaid".)
Martin Kemp - 47 (Spandau Ballet's bass player.)
Julia Sweeney - 49 ("SNL", "It's Pat!")
Bradley Whitford - 49 (Josh Lyman on "The West Wing" and Danny Tripp on the now-cancelled "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". He nails Jane Kaczmarek, the mom from "Malcolm In The Middle". Hard.)
Tanya Tucker - 50 (Sexually promiscuous country tramp.)
David Lee Roth - 54
Ben Vereen - 62 (Chicken George in "Roots".)
ON THIS DAY....
1899 - The BICYCLE FRAME WAS PATENTED by MR. I.R. JOHNSON.
1943 - The FIRST Lassie movie, "Lassie Come Home", premiered . . . starring young RODDY MCDOWALL and ELIZABETH TAYLOR. Roddy McDowall was only 15 then.
1957 - "Zorro", starring an apparent gringo, GUY WILLIAMS, debuted on ABC. His REAL name, however, was Armand Catalano.
1962 - BOBBY "BORIS" PICKETT'S smash "The Monster Mash" was BANNED by the BBC because they thought the song was offensive. (???)
1966 - MILTON BRADLEY released the very naughty game for horny would-be contortionists . . . TWISTER.
1968 - "Barbarella" was released. JANE FONDA starred as a space minx out to save the universe from the evil Durand-Durand . . . which ended up being the inspiration for the name of the band DURAN DURAN. (--True.)
(--Jane Fonda's zero-gravity striptease at the beginning of the flick will remind you why people actually used to love this chick.)
(--There's a remake in the works . . . and last we heard, Robert Rodriguez is directing it, and it'll star the woman who destroyed his marriage, Rose McGowan.)
1970 - NEIL DIAMOND had his first #1 song . . . "Cracklin' Rosie".
1975 - ELIZABETH TAYLOR married Husband #5, RICHARD BURTON . . . again . . . just a little over a year after their divorce. They divorced . . . again . . . about 10 months later.
1978 - PRESIDENT CARTER signed a bill authorizing the SUSAN B. ANTHONY DOLLAR . . . which died a quick death because it looked and felt too much like a quarter.
1978 - STEVEN TYLER and JOE PERRY of AEROSMITH were injured during a concert in Philadelphia when an excited fan THREW A CHERRY BOMB ON STAGE. For many moons afterwards, Aerosmith would only perform behind a chain-link fence.
1980 - BILLIE "BUCKWHEAT" THOMAS fell victim to the Curse of the Little Rascals when he died of a heart attack at the age of 49. It was definitely not O-TAY. (???)
1981 - The "Laverne & Shirley" CARTOON debuted on ABC. (???)
1981 - In Cairo, funeral services were held for slain Egyptian leader ANWAR SADAT. He was assassinated by Muslim extremists angered by his PEACE agreement with Israel.
1985 - The mantastic, bald-headed YUL BRYNNER passed away at age 65 of lung cancer.
1991 - Joseph Harris, an ex-postal worker, killed three other postal workers and another woman in New Jersey . . . and inspired the term "GOING POSTAL".
1992 - "The Chase", by GARTH BROOKS, debuted at #1 on "Billboard's" pop AND country album charts, knocking BILLY RAY CYRUS' "Some Gave All" from the top spot on each.
2004 - The entire planet mourned a world without a Superman when the great CHRISTOPHER REEVE passed away.
2006 - GOOGLE bought YOUTUBE in a $1.65 BILLION deal.
